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The Doctor Who Confidential Drinking Game part IV: Totally Doctor Who

by Fiona Moore

Originally published in Celestial Toyroom Issue 348

These days, it seems, Doctor Who Confidential has decided to follow the “hook 'em young” principle and provide the kids with their very own gateway drug: Totally Doctor Who, which manages the amazing feat of being even more superficial than the average episode of Confidential. So, in the interests of hooking 'em young, we're providing a children's edition of the Confidential Drinking Game.

Unfortunately, in this edition the drinks aren't likely to numb the pain much, as, since this is a children's programme, you're limited to non-alcoholic drinks: try Ribena, lemonade, or, for the daring, cocoa. Intelligence suggests, however, that Totally has a large undergraduate following; for the student edition, drink Red Bull and watch with a sense of sophisticated irony.

And now, the game! Take a drink whenever:

For those of you who can't make it through without alcoholic drinks, there is, however, a simpler version: start drinking the moment you feel like murdering the presenters, take a drink every time you find them a touch more annoying, and hopefully you should be insensible before the episode is over. Or, even more simply: take a drink every time Billie Piper doesn't appear as a guest.

Next Issue: absolutely nothing. We're finished with this. For now!

Next month, provided we sober up in time, Doctor Who Confidential Drinking Game part II: This Time, It's Smug.

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